What would you like to know about...
Why should I book?
In making your decision, you need to ask yourself if you are ready for a commitment dedicated to yourself and a deep exploration of the ways in which you make relationships.
Are you keen to work on yourself in a profound way? Would you like to explore this work in a safe space, with a multicultural group of gay men? Would you enjoy being accompanied these like-minded men through this process? Would you like to be more open to love relationships? Would you like to experience greater pleasure in the ones that you already have?
We don’t know of any other in-depth program that currently focuses on this subject. We know that individual process needs to be practiced in a supportive, interpersonal group. We believe that everyone has innate wisdom- our aim is to give you guidance to help you find and trust it, so that you can open up to your full potential.
Who is this program suitable for?
The program is designed both for men who are currently single and those in a relationship.
To be a bit more specific:
Men who would like to find a partner or would like to reflect on their relationship patterns in a safe and accepting space.
Men who would like to go through a significant personal and collective process within a multicultural group of men.
Men who want to explore living a vibrant erotic and spiritually integrated life.
Men who want change in their lives and need a structure to support it.
Men who want to step into their full potential for creating and living beautiful relationships.
Men who want to explore authentic self-expression through body, sex and voice.
Men who want to broaden their consciousness.
Men who want to learn to be lovers in both the broadest and most specific senses of the word.
What can I learn?
Here is just a short list:
Flirting
Finding a good match/es.
Making good choices.
Connecting to your own source of love. Accepting yourself totally and living a happy long-term relationship with yourself!
Understanding your past in a useful way. Understanding the patterns that might make relating difficult. We can learn to adapt and change the ways in which we operate within these patterns through awareness and by using specific tools .
Learning to grow while in partnership without feeling enchained.
Finding a good balance between maintaining our individualism and yielding to a relationship.
Keeping trust even when having (endless) arguments.
Overcoming jealousy.
Solving problems, including various issues that can put a strong negative impact on the relationship, such as desires, dependencies, power, money, fear of loss, influence from the family, community and society.
Learning to communicate openly.
Finding the right space for a relationship at different stages. Knowing how to communicate, according to your needs, in order to open or make a relationship closer again.
I have had hundreds of relationships, and they all end up, more or less, in catastrophe. Can you help me?
We believe so. We will give you tools and a supportive environment to analyse the past; to examine where problems arose in previous relationships and how you dealt with them? In this long term program, relationship dynamics will also manifest in one way or another in the group itself. It will give you ample opportunity to explore the origins of those dynamics; to find out what will and what won’t work for you. In between modules you’ll be invited to practice something different to your habitual patterns, to create new situations and gain new insights.
You will learn about yourself to find out what you really want.
I have been in a relationship for thirteen years, we haven’t had sex for a long time, we are both frustrated, but we still love each other so much. Can you help us?
We believe so. Whether you come alone or with your partner, we will support you to find ways to uncover what is going on in your relationship. There is no single answer, sometimes the root of frustration is personal, sometimes it has to do with the relationship dynamics, sometimes all you need is a positive sexual experience to light up the fire again.
We believe that answers will come up as you forage on your path of self growth, gently exploring some new communication skills with your partner.
Be ready to be surprised, to make changes (large or small,) to listen to your desires and step outside of habitual patterns.
My previous relationships were all so short. As soon as I got into one I wanted to get out again. Can you help me?
All situations and problems are unique, we will try and find out what it is that you really want, what will make you happy, and how you can use tools, knowledge and support offered by the program and group. Not having a long relationship doesn’t automatically mean that there is anything wrong with you. We will give you tools of conflict resolution, ideas to keep the fire going, how to enjoy quiet times in a relationship and how to live and deal with inevitable crises.
We provide a safe space where you will be in control of the speed of your process.
Do I have to share my most intimate issues in front of a big group? I am afraid that I won’t feel able to do that.
We will work in many different ways within the group. There will be safe space for personal and intimate work in one to one sessions, in spaces where we engage in role play and exercises made in smaller groups (3, 4 or 5 participants) and also larger groups. This will allow for sharing of intimate issues in a number of different settings, but you will never be forced to share secrets in front of the group if you do not feel ready or able to do so. However, we hope to win your trust, for you to feel comfortable and able to follow your intuition to decide when you are ready to bring in new “material” for your process of healing and self development.
I am single. Is this a place to look for a partner?
Well, we wouldn’t suggest that exactly. You will be part of a dynamic group that for a period of two years will share feelings, experiences, insights and self growth. Although many of the exercises will be sexual and sensual in nature, the focus of the work is about the power of the group to empower the individual. If you are more concerned with looking for a partner in the group you might just miss out on what the program really has to offer, but on the other hand, we do not place a ban on participants from entering into relationships with one another , so it might just happen!
So, what if I DO fall in love with another participant?
Welcome it. That’s something we can’t control, can we? Depending on the specific circumstances we would then discuss with you how best to proceed. It certainly could be a great topic to include in your overall process.
What if I can’t stand one of the other participants in the group?
Fantastic. Just like real in life, isn’t it? Except, now you have to deal with it. But how? That is exactly the kind of thing we will address.
Also, through the work with yourself your perception of others might just change for the better.
Can we participate as a couple?
Absolutely. The program is suitable for couples although you may need slightly different kinds of support from us. During the workshops you will be able to choose whether to do exercises with your partner or with another participant.
What happens if we break up during the program?
Regarding a break up, we would assist both parties to enable you to stay in the program, to process this change in the best way possible. It is important to say that we won’t be entirely disappearing during the breaks between modules. You would always be welcome to talk to us, and we would do everything possible to make sure both parties feel able to stay in the program. One of the trainers, a couple therapist, would be available to support your needs.
I am in a relationship. Can I come without my partner?
Of course. It might be that your partner is not interested in such work. This doesn’t mean that it wouldn’t be good for you. On the contrary, you could both benefit from your process as you bring experiences, tools and knowledge home.
Clearly, you can set boundaries for the group as to what you are or aren’t willing to share or do. Please consult with us for specific clarification.
How many participants will there be in the group?
We are looking to have a group of around twenty five men.
I am living in a Threesome, but I want to improve my relations. Can I learn from the programme or does it focus solely on couples?
Welcome! 95% of that what you are learning and experiencing can easily be adapted for a trio. For the other 5% you will get individual support from the trainers.
I am bisexual and am living with a woman. Can the program help me have a better relationship?
From a general point of view, most of the patterns of same-gender-relationships are the same as in a mixed-gender relationship. If you are intrigued by our programme, as a bisexual we offer the possibility to develop and to discover the gay side of the relationship world; its opportunities and challenges.
What advantages does the training offer compared to individual workshops?
Workshops tend to open doors and point to new possibilities but once they’re over, participants do not have a structure within which to deepen their newly learned skills and to implement change in their lives. This is the purpose of a committed long term process within the same group. The longer the same group is together, the more genuine trust can be built, so that growth can go further and deeper.
We will use tools that aim to create lots of individual experience and space for individual expression and exploration. We try to stay away from overly conceptual methods: we won’t sell you a standard solution for problem X, Y and Z, but aim to teach you a wide range of skills from different traditions to empower and support your evolution. Through these we achieve a greater level of self understanding, greater levels of insight into the genesis of our problems and the unconscious motivations that underlie our behaviour.
Can I register for individual modules as well?
No. This is an in-depth process that requires a commitment to yourself and to us during this time. One module builds upon the other.
What if I want to drop out at some point?
There will inevitably be ups and downs during a long term, in-depth training such as this. If you really felt that it was your wish to discontinue the training it would, of course, be your prerogative, but we would suggest that you’d aim to honour your commitment, both to yourself and the group, to enjoy reaping the benefits from attending the whole program.
What if due to unforeseen circumstances I can’t come to one of the modules?
If you miss one or two modules due to sickness or an emergency you will have the chance to catch up by attending these modules in the next training cycle while staying with the group you have started with. If you were to miss 3 modules or more you would need to discontinue the training and start over again the next time around. We can’t emphasize enough how much your commitment to the entire process will be the measure for what you will get out of it.
How will this workshop get me a boyfriend?
We cannot guarantee a boyfriend at the end of the program, what we are offering is a closer look at your desires , wishes and needs. We promise to share skills with you that may help you to start and maintain a relationship. We can promise you that when this program ends you will be a better lover , develop communication skills, have more idea of what you want, what you need and how to achieve it.
I would love to participate but cannot afford it. Will there be a concession price?
No. But we do have three spots at a reduced rate for helpers. Helpers may be asked to make themselves available for preparations for modules and for specific Gay Love Spirit marketing events, translations, booths for gay street fairs and gay pride etc. Altogether, we would require 80 hours of your time per training year.
I’m not sure if I am looking for a long term relationship, will this program suit me?
This workshop is about all aspects of relating, and how these different aspects interact with each other?
We will explore our wish to connect, our desire to be with someone, as well as our need to be alone and at peace in our relationship with ourselves. Does the content of this training attract you? Is this an area that you really want to explore? If the answer is no, then maybe it would be wise to look for something else. There are plenty of other beautiful trainings within the Gay Love Spirit programme!
Is it group therapy?
We are not psychotherapists, this is not group therapy and wouldn’t be suitable for persons who are coping with mental illness, however, working in depth through the body, mind, spirit and voice will, no doubt, be a therapeutic journey for each individual. We will facilitate a healing environment for men who wish to be supported in their personal process. This sort of personal development can only take place in an interpersonal context. We aim to create a cohesive group in which all members will feel a sense of belonging, acceptance, and validation.The group setting will provide a safe and supportive environment in which to take risks by extending our repertoire of interpersonal behaviour and social skills. One way in which we can develop these skills is by observing and imitating others. As the famous Woody Allen quote goes,“Life is not a rehearsal” , but here any new role may be safely practiced or ‘rehearsed’ before you take it out into “real life.” Participants will be able to help each other, and have the experience of being able to support the others. Recognition of shared experiences and feelings may serve to validate our own experiences and raise self-esteem. When we tell our stories to a supportive audience, we can obtain relief from chronic feelings of shame and guilt. We can be inspired and encouraged by someone who has overcome the sort of problems with which we are still struggling. It might also be very helpful to learn factual information from other participants surrounding specific problems, for instance, how best to go about Internet dating!
We will achieve a greater level of self understanding, and a sense of self awareness through the process of interacting with others in the group, by getting feedback on our behaviour and our impact on others. Through this process we learn to be responsible for our own self and the consequences of our actions.
How can I prepare myself to start the program?
If you have enrolled, you will get access to some online material. You are welcome to start reading/ watching the films.
